Emotional Wholeness and the Journey to Healing

In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Joan Akinola; psychotherapist, mental health advocate, and founder of Elpis Therapy. From physical therapy to inner healing, she’s on a mission to bridge psychology and divine restoration. This episode is a deep dive into faith, therapy, and emotional wholeness.

We explored the heart of emotional wholeness—why so many adults are silently struggling, how unhealed pain distorts our sense of self, and why healing is not only possible, but part of God’s plan for us.

Whether you're carrying invisible wounds, overwhelmed by emotional burnout, or simply curious about how emotional health and faith intersect, this conversation was for you.

Redefining Emotional Wholeness

Emotional wholeness doesn’t mean you never feel pain—it means you’re resilient in the face of it. It’s the ability to process difficult emotions without shutting down or spiraling. But many people were never taught how to do this.

Most adults were raised in environments where feelings were dismissed, not named, or simply unsafe to express. So as adults, they lack the emotional tools to process life’s hardships.

Key takeaways:

• Emotional wholeness is about resilience, not having it all together.

• Many struggle because they were never taught how to process emotions.

• Healing requires intentionality, not just time or age.

Unmasking the Protective Self

We often wear emotional armor—high achievement, over-serving, perfectionism, or even hyper-spirituality—not realizing these behaviors are ways of protecting ourselves from pain.

These traits can become so ingrained that we mistake them for our identity. But when we ask, “What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing this?” we begin to meet the wounded child behind the mask.

Key takeaways:

• The protective self is a response to unhealed pain, not your true identity.

• Reflective questions help uncover hidden emotional wounds.

• Over-functioning is often a sign of emotional injury.

The Quiet Signals of Emotional Struggle

Emotional pain doesn’t always look dramatic. It often hides behind phrases like “I’m fine” or “I’ve got this.” People may display control issues, rigidity, or discomfort with vulnerability—often without realizing it’s rooted in trauma.

Sometimes the best thing you can offer is not advice, but presence.

Key takeaways:

• Emotional wounds often show up in subtle, socially accepted behaviors.

• Common signs include perfectionism, fear of change, and emotional numbness.

• Compassionate presence, not fixing, brings healing.

How Men and Women Carry Pain Differently

Emotional wounds are universal, but often show up differently across gender lines. For many men, pain hides beneath independence and pressure to “hold it all together.” For women, it often appears as chronic guilt, codependency, or emotional reactivity.

Some of these tendencies even disguise underlying conditions like ADHD, especially in women.

Key takeaways:

• Men often develop facades of strength to mask emotional fragility.

• Women may carry emotional burdens they were never meant to hold.

• Pain doesn’t always look like sadness—it often looks like over-functioning.

Emotionally Healthy Relationships Start With You

Emotionally healthy people can say “this hurt me” without attacking. They can set boundaries with kindness and receive feedback without defensiveness. But many of us were raised in environments where boundaries didn’t exist or emotions were invalidated.

Emotional maturity is not just about how you feel—it's about how you relate.

Key takeaways:

• Emotional readiness shows in how we handle conflict and feedback.

• Childhood patterns often shape how we set (or avoid) boundaries.

• Mutual vulnerability is the foundation of lasting relationships.

Faith, Therapy, and the Freedom to Feel

Therapy is not a betrayal of your faith—it’s an act of alignment with it. Scripture is full of emotionally honest people: Job, David, Jesus. They expressed grief, frustration, fear, and longing. God didn’t rebuke their feelings—He met them in it.

Seeking therapy can be a way of stewarding the emotional life God gave you.

Key takeaways:

• Therapy offers a safe, validating space for emotional processing.

• Emotional expression is deeply biblical and spiritually aligned.

• We can pursue both counsel and Christ—it’s not either/or.

Redefining Trauma

Trauma is not just about major life events. It’s anything that altered how you see yourself, others, or the world. It could be a harsh word, consistent emotional neglect, or never being allowed to feel.

When love feels conditional, trauma quietly forms.

Key takeaways:

• Trauma is defined by its impact, not its size or visibility.

• Wounds from religion, parents, or peers can all shape trauma.

• Healing begins when we recognize the emotional patterns born from pain.

The Journey of Healing

Healing doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet prayer, a journal entry, or a moment of honesty with God. Practices like reflective or meditative prayer can surface long-buried wounds—and offer a safe space to invite God into them.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.

Key takeaways:

• Healing is layered, slow, and often deeply spiritual.

• Meditative prayer can be a tool for truth and clarity.

• There is always hope—no matter your story.

If this resonated with you, you are not alone.
Your story matters. God sees your pain. And healing is not only possible—it’s promised.

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